Sex and Love
I've mentioned Tantric Sex a few times in other places on this website, but I thought I'd bring the ideas together in one place.
Some years ago, the rock star Sting made it public that he practiced Tantric Sex, and the newspapers responded predictably, with articles about how Tantra involves staying locked in coitus with one's partner for hours, penis inserted into vagina, while neither partner moves, until you've both had enough and....and....well, nothing really. You just give up and have a cup of tea, was the general sort of feeling.
Of course, this is amusing, but wrong. Even my doctor, a man who's spent a long time working with sexual issues in men, cracked a joke about it when I told him I practiced Tantra: "Isn't that like calling the plumber? You stay in all day and nobody comes?" Amusing, sure, but not accurate.
Tantra is an ancient Hindu tradition, in which sexuality is a route to spiritual enlightenment. The sexual partners take the sexual energy which lurks in their base Chakras, and move it up and around their bodies until it flows freely between them, and from them to the Universe and back again.
At some point, the energy flow will reach the brain's spiritual center and potentially touch the Divine - a moment of enlightenment.
Tantra evolved from yogic practice. The ancient Hindus recognized that they could bring many of the yoga postures they practiced into their sexual unions, and so, for the advanced Tantrica (student of Tantra), there are now many contorted sexual postures in which to seek enlightenment!
But for the average inflexible Westerner, things can be much simpler. If you're in a relationship, it's highly likely that what you want is a great way to seduce your partner. The Tao Of Badass provides this - and it's great on pick up lines, too.
Next time you're in the man on top sex position, lie still and imagine energy flowing from your penis into her orgasm-inducing G spot, then upwards through her Chakras and back down to her G spot.
In your own body imagine the energy flowing upwards from your penis to your heart and brain, then back down to your penis.
At some point, you may detect a fine vibration, or a tingling sensation, or you may feel your penis to be hotter or colder than usual - these are all signs of energy flowing.
This energy is Chi, the life force of the Universe.
When it flows, you'll know it: when I'm with my with my girlfriend, the first sign that Chi is flowing for us is a feeling of warmth in my penis and her G-spot, rapidly followed by spontaneous twitches of her pelvis, vagina and PC muscles, rather like the twitches that she experiences after the peak of her orgasm as she comes down to earth again.
These twitches are accompanied by what she describes as ecstatic feelings of energy flow around her body.
She gets sensations which she likens to an orgasm anywhere on her body: and this whole body orgasm transports her to a world of sensuous pleasure unlike anything else we experience in sex together.
For me, the reward is after I have ejaculated - the energy flow around my body continues for as long as I wish it to, and as it does so, my whole body spasms in orgasmic ecstasy again and again - but with no ejaculation.
These "dry" orgasms are the end product of Tantric practice - you have the pleasure of whole body orgasms without the exhausting effects of repeated ejaculation.
A major difference to premature ejaculation, and a way to learn how to last longer in bed in lovemaking.
(In strict Tantric practice I wouldn't be ejaculating at all, but that's the way our Tantric practice has evolved, and that's clearly what's right for us at the moment.)
The only downside of this is that it can get a bit tedious for my partner as I spasm with repeated waves of orgasmic pleasure, my erect penis still in her vagina! In general, therefore, I limit my waves of pleasure to about ten minutes or so.
A ten minute orgasm may seem spectacular, but aficionados of Tantra will tell you that they can basically go on for as long as they choose - and, for a woman, the act of G spot stimulation mean she is ready to "go" again very rapidly any time in the next twenty four hours or so.
In any event Tantra is best practiced with a long term sexual relationship partner since trust and respect are vital elements of the connection which you establish and is needed before you can open up enough to connect at the energetic level we are talking about.
It goes without saying that all of this is easier if you already have a meditative discipline or a spiritual practice.
But there are many courses which introduce beginners to Tantra, and with this tuition, it isn't actually very difficult. The enhanced pleasure that you get from sex makes it well worth the effort involved.
If you want to take a course, plenty of people offer a course on the internet. Choose carefully. The best book on the subject is Margot Anand's The Art Of Sexual Ecstasy. Buy it here.