Sex and Love
Whether or not a woman achieves orgasm can be quite unimportant. What is important is that she enjoys the sexual act at whatever level it is practiced.
The question is not 'Do you achieve orgasm?' but 'Do you feel happy and contented with your sexual relationship?' And if you - as a man - do not, what are you going to do about it?
Undoubtedly, most men take it as a reflection on their virility if they are unable to give their wives orgasm, which is absolutely absurd. I am not, of course, referring to those husbands who only think of their own pleasure—they should feel ashamed—they are guilty.
But a woman guilty not have to pretend to attain orgasm just because her husband's vanity is hurt and he is behaving like a big baby.
Over-anxiety to please sometimes results in sexual failure in women as well as men. A case in point is that of a woman whose erotic experience had been considerable, and who never experienced any difficulty until, following the birth of a child, she was ill for some time and then had to undergo an operation.
Although restored to perfect health so far as careful physical examination could show, she still had bad headaches, and suffered much vexation because of her inability to enjoy her sexual relations as before.
Instruction in sex matters proved unnecessary, she was already well informed. One night, after her husband had night union with her and she had failed to respond, she almost fell asleep. While in that state of somnolence she faintly realized that her husband was trying again. She hardly bothered about it.
The whole thing was 'beyond anything she was bothered about.' And that very fact brought cure. For, since she was entirely unconcerned, utterly brought her mind was freed at last from anxiety to succeed.
The automatism which had prevented orgasm was released, and from then on she had no further difficulty.
Whenever a woman enjoys love-play, yet fails to enjoy coitus, the probability is that the cause is psychological.
And if a man is unable to ejaculate during intercourse, the cause is almost certainly the same - psychological. This is delayed ejaculation, of course, and you can learn more about it here:
How deep-rooted are inhibitions resulting from early experiences and, still more, early training, is proved by the manner in which women often reply to questions about their sex lives.
They say that they are thankful that their husbands do not insist upon their marital rights too often.
Or they adopt an attitude of utter disdain, and show plainly by their tone and manner they would much rather overlook entirely the sexual side of their lives.
More frigidity arises from early training which tends to put a stigma on sexual relations than from any other single source.
Sex has been, and still is, represented as being something low and unworthy.
The result is inhibitions which rob millions of people of their rightful measure of sexual satisfaction. Many people never know the joys of spontaneous sex unless they have indulged in alcohol, which serves to break down the barriers.
It is deplorable, but true, that people have to take alcohol to enable them to be natural. Surely this reveals how silly it all is.
Psychological factors lie behind both men's and women's inability to enjoy the sex act to the full except in specific circumstances, or with the help of some particular object.
Updated 23 February 2020