Sex and Love

Oral sex mastery

For some people, oral sex is more intimate than sexual intercourse. It's important to know how to do it well!

When going down on someone, pick a position that's comfortable for both giver and receiver. You can receive oral sex while standing, sitting, or lying flat on your back, or while on your knees. Prior to going down on a woman, just breathe hot breaths on her vagina for a long time. This will drive her crazy! y

Gently sucking a woman's clitoris (as if it were a tiny penis) gets it sensitive and tender in preparation for licking and pressing movements intended to bring climax. Sucking a clitoris too hard or too long can make it too sensitive or too swollen.

Feel free to include foods in your oral sex techniques, such as honey, whipped cream, chocolate sauce, and fruits such as grapes, melon, bananas and sweet berries. Wine stings!

Turn yourself on while giving oral sex by watching your lover's reactions and by observing his or her vulva or penis as they change and react to your touches. It's easy to become an expert at oral sex if you ask questions, observe, care about the person, and get into the experience.

Many women who don't like oral sex feel that way because they've never had it from someone who did it well. Or they've never done it well.

Video - oral sex mastery

A woman should tell her man when something feels good – and tell him to keep doing it. Men often don't have the patience to bring a woman to climax with oral sex, and because of that, some women don't know how great oral sex can be. What a woman wants from oral sex is tenderness and attention.

Going down on a woman gets her attention on sex, gets her ready for sexual intercourse, warmed up and aroused.

As one woman said: "When I wake up in the morning with my lover going down on me, the static of daily tasks hasn't started yet, so my mind is really clear, free, and open to just do instead of think, so in just minutes I can be at a complete peak level.

Great oral sex is often wet and sloppy! Oral sex in the morning is like a really good dream that feels very real. Use oral sex to prolong a sexual encounter: 30 minutes of oral sex plus 5 minutes of sexual intercourse equals 35 minutes of sex."

The most important aspect of great oral sex is desire. The experience of oral sex in a public place can be thrilling.

The "naughty" danger of being so exposed could really turn you or your lover on. Try an alley, stairway, elevator, bathroom, train, plane, park, or parking garage.

Sometimes it's fun to fantasize during oral sex. Pretend you're giving to or receiving from a celebrity, high-school sweetheart, someone you have a crush on.

Other times it's best to be fully present in the moment. Use "movie-star techniques" to be more present during oral sex: look, listen, touch, smell, and taste what's going on to be most present during oral sex.

Enjoy the saltiness, the sounds of your lover's moans, his heavy breathing, your own licking, the musky aroma, feel his hardness in your mouth, or watch the sensual shape of his body as he pleasures you.

We're accustomed to playing sexual baseball: going from first, to second, third, and finally scoring a home run. But sometimes going from home plate back to third base, and back and forth, can be amazing.

You might enjoy videotaping your oral sexual positions to show or see what works best, or to critique style and technique.

Watching a video of someone going down on you while that person (or someone else) goes down on you can be a real erotic thrill. Every man's desire is to have his penis sucked by a capable woman who wants to do it and enjoys it.

Give your lover great visual and aural stimulation while going down on him. The sights and sounds of you enjoying servicing him can be the greatest thrill.

How much oral sex is enough or too much is a matter of personal preference. Most men would be very happy to get it once a week on a regular basis.

Remember that toning is the Tantric practice of making noises with your mouth while performing oral sex on your lover. Hum, moan, or make any kind of vibrational noise to add a powerful new element to oral lovemaking.

Natural and other flavors can alter your whole mindset about oral sex. "Wet" lubricant has brand flavors such as Piña Colada, Vanilla, and Berry, which can add sweetness and "spice" to lovemaking. Bathing together or giving your lover a bath can offer a sexy start to oral lovemaking.

A bath and/or douche will remove any unpleasant odors. It's awesome to watch your lover on her knees servicing you in the shower while warm water runs down your body.

69 allows both partners to give and receive. It is very intimate. Three positions for 69: Woman on top - Man on top - Man and woman on their sides. Take it all in as deep as you can, suck hard, and just hold that as long as you can. Suck it in and out, up and down, with a steady rhythm, for a long time.

Slowly build the rhythm, speed, and pressure of your sucking. Keep going until your mouth is vibrating on your lover's sex, then go back to slow, soft motion and build it up again.

Many women enjoy sucking a flaccid penis as much or even more than an erect one, and for sex play in the morning, there are few more pleasant ways for a man to feel his penis being stimulated.

What women enjoy about gong down on a man: feeling the power; the control; the taste of his juices; feeling the smoothness of his skin; making him harder; the intimacy; giving him pleasure; serving him; doing it well; just doing it; his gratitude; tasting the sweetness.

Positions for her to go down on him: on her knees; 69; on her hands and knees; lying on her back with her head hanging over the side of the bed; kneeling or sitting beside him (though this is the least effective way to go down on him.

The angle is wrong for his penis and for her neck. It's uncomfortable for him and her).

Oral sex techniques to give him pleasure

Lick his scrotum, anus, shaft, head of his penis, and any other part of his body that is erotic for him. Run your lips over his scrotum, anus, shaft, head and erotically charged body parts. Suck on his testicles, anus, shaft, head of his penis, and other erotic body parts.

Stroke his shaft, up and down with a tight grip while sucking with your mouth. Let your saliva lubricate your hand movements.

Every part of a man's body is potentially an erotic hot spot you can make love to with your mouth.

Be aware: some "teeth" can be fun, but too much hurts! And there is no doubt that if you pleasure a man sexually, dear ladies, he is more likely to remain in love with you and be faithful with you.

Oral sex techniques to give her pleasure

Lick her nipples, breasts, thighs, labia, clitoris, pubic hair region, G-spot, and all inside her vagina and other erotic areas. Swish, swirl, and/or vibrate your tongue on her nipples, breasts, lips, clitoris, G-spot and other erotic areas.

Nibble her sex parts with your teeth, and/or bite them only as hard as is pleasurable to her. Tickle her clit with your beard or scruff. Run your lips over the parts of her body that turn her on. Every part of a woman's body is potentially an erotic hot spot which you can make love to with your mouth.

Positions for him to go down on her

• On his stomach while she lies flat on her back.
• 69
• Sitting or kneeling beside her.
• On his knees while she stands or sits.
• From behind while she's on all fours or sticking it up in the air.
• Hanging his head down (upside down) while she lies flat on her
stomach or kneels.

Tongue her G-spot while she fingers her clit.

Deep Throat

I've instructed many women on how to deep throat; those that could do it loved me; those who couldn't, didn't. The most important factor in being able to deep throat: love. The second key factor in being able to deep throat: desire. Great deep throat is always sloppy and slimy. (Have a towel handy if that bothers you.)

When a woman learns how to deep throat, it is vital that she stays in control. Her "Gag Reflex" during deep throat will eventually be mastered if she stays in control.

Deep Throat comments from women

"It's like a different penis. It seems to get absolutely harder and bigger, to the point where it's stretching the skin to its absolute maximum – which means more penis!"

"Deep throat seems to make the penis more sensitive. And it makes him crazy. And crazy in sex usually translates to great sex."

"Deep throat 69 gets us both to a more erotic point quickly. That's great in the morning. Deep throat 69 gets you the equivalent of an hour into sex in just four or five minutes, so you're both to an amazingly erotic point where you're relaxed and ready to cum."

In deep throat, desire will triumph over size, especially when powered by love. Sometimes it feels great to use your mouth and hands; other times a mouth alone feels best.

Learn how to deep throat

The key is that the woman must stay in control. The man lies on his back. She gets on top of him, and, going as slowly as she wants, takes as much of his penis in her mouth as she can to the point where she starts to feel like she's going to gag.

Then she just holds it there as long as possible. The man must not push her head down…He must not buck up or thrust up his hips…He just lies there and lets her experiment and get used to having his penis going farther and farther into her throat.

It's like a puzzle. Each man's penis will fit into each woman's throat a different way, based on the shape of his penis, the angle she's holding her throat, and so on.

The best way for her to determine what works best is as she's pushing the penis into her throat she should change the angle of her throat and of her body slightly, moving her head and neck in a combination of angles to find what lines them up perfectly.

It may mean getting up on her knees to be higher up over the penis, or lowering herself down a bit, but eventually she will find the right angle.

The best way to find the right angle for you is to begin deep throating while the penis is not fully erect.

If she can find the right angle when the penis is not fully erect; that will be the same angle when it is fully erect. This may be uncomfortable for her. She'll have to overcome her natural gag reflex.

It will be a very tight fit…Eventually, if you do it right, the man and the woman will feel the head of his penis "click" past the first ring of cartilage in her throat. This will feel amazing for him, like he's really "gotten in there" for the first time…Until then, it's just tight and "not complete…" But once it gets in there it feels amazing for him.

For her it will feel scary – like she may not ever be able to get that dick out again! It will come out! Don't force her to keep it in there. Let her stay in control of the situation, or you run the risk of scaring her away forever. You will get back in there again! If you allow her to stay in control.

The woman must try to stay relaxed, keep her throat relaxed, stay in control, monitor her breath - and keep practicing! The gag reflex eventually becomes manageable.

If the woman really loves the man and wants to please him, wants to satisfy him, wants to make him feel totally accepted, she will experiment with positions and angles, and do whatever it takes to figure out how to deep throat him.

It can be advantageous to start deep throating him while his penis is soft, then to keep going as he gets harder and harder, to the point where you can't take it any more. Then continue working your way up, practicing, and becoming more skillful. Remember, Rome wasn't built in a day!

Time your breathing

Because the penis may be so large that it fills her entire throat, it may be difficult to breath, so it's important for the woman to get into a rhythm with her partner, breathing as she pulls out, so that she has enough air for when the penis is in her throat.

This is particularly important when the man is about to come.

One thing many women don't know – even those who do deep throat – is that the most pleasurable thing for the man is to actually shoot into her throat.

Which means that for this period of time you'll have to get by on the last breath you took prior to his ejaculation. Women are not aware just how sensitive a man's penis can be during and just after ejaculation.

Sucking is generally good for men as they're coming. Whereas continually bobbing up and down on the penis is not always pleasurable after ejaculation.

"Deep Tongue" her G-spot

GREAT deep tongue is always sloppy. The most important factor in deep tonguing: her level of arousal must be high. When deep tonguing a woman who is highly aroused, her G-spot will naturally shift position to facilitate contact with his tongue.

Her ultimate orgasm(s)

Many women experience their most intense orgasmic climaxes when their clitoris is licked and/or sucked while their G-spot is stimulated to climax and/or ejaculation.

His ultimate orgasm(s)

Men can experience multiple ejaculations and extended continuous orgasms lasting many minutes if their penis is continuously sucked after ejaculation. The woman should continue sucking (lightly at first, then harder as his passion remounts) after he reaches orgasm (and she swallows his semen).

After a few minutes the sensation will become uncomfortable for him, and it is then that the man must force himself to let her keep sucking his penis. (I encourage the men who take my seminars to force themselves to let her keep sucking in the name of science!)

It may feel as if he is going to pee in her mouth, but that is impossible. He must consciously decide to "let go," "go over the wall," and lose control to her mouth.

Once he surrenders to the intense pleasure, a man can experience multiple ejaculations and extended orgasms that last for many minutes.

The best way to learn this is for the man to lie flat on his back in a comfortable bed with the woman on top of him in 69. Once a man learns how to access this level of sexuality, he can have these multiple orgasms and ejaculations anywhere.

One of my students does it on Sunday evenings with his girlfriend in the Jacuzzi.

Both men and women can experience tremendous erotic pleasure from oral stimulation of the anus. Bathing thoroughly prior to oral/anal lovemaking is highly recommended.

Women especially enjoy oral stimulation of the entire vaginal-anal region. Orally stimulating a man's anus is a great way to "warm him up" for "male sacred spot" massage (a.k.a. prostate massage.)

How to make love to an anus with your mouth

Start by just breathing in the sweet scent of the freshly bathed anus – and breathing hot breaths on it as preparation for contact and preliminary arousal.

Then gently lick the buttocks and fine hairs around the anus.

Nibble and lick your lover's ass in concentric circles, getting closer and closer to the opening until you feel his or her intense desire for you to put your tongue inside.

 If you do this teasingly and tantalizingly enough while also licking and sucking the vagina or penis (as the case may be) for the right amount of time, your partner will eventually be lusting for you to put your tongue inside.

This works great as a natural extension to a hot 69. But only when you sense anal lust coming from your partner should you go for it.

Premature penetration of the anus may be uncomfortable for your lover to receive, and is certainly less than optimal when compared to expert timing.

Simultaneous oral-anal 69 can be amazing. While modern medicine often advises against intermixing vaginal and anal sex fluids, women often go crazy with passion during the experience.

Orally stimulating her anus to the point of sexual frenzy is a terrific prelude to anal intercourse – and a great way to loosen a person up about the concept of anal sex.

If you're willing to "bite the bullet," she can't help being more receptive to the idea of "taking a shot."

Swallowing his semen in oral sex and drinking her fluids in oral sex

Some semen tastes better than others. Eating pineapple is said to sweeten a man's juices. Deep throating him while he ejaculates will bypass your taste buds. See this for how to deep throat without gagging - swallowing is not about swallowing semen, not really.

It's about complete acceptance, wanting and loving everything about that person. It's about completely letting a person in. What a man wants more than anything is complete acceptance from a woman.

That is what makes a man feel loved. There are certain doors that remain closed until you've accepted everything about a person – including their sexual organs and ejaculate – inside and into your body. Until you have, there is a limit to your intimacy.

When you taste wine or other alcohols for the first time, most people don't like the taste. After a while it becomes a sought-after experience. When a person won't swallow, it's never about the taste.

Swallowing is about accepting that liquid as a part of your sexual interaction. About accepting everything about your man. About loving everything that is him. If it's really a problem for you, get a condom and have him ejaculate into it while you give him oral sex through the condom.

Alternatively, take him to the very edge of ejaculation with your mouth then switch to your hand as he ejaculates at the last minute.

The flavor of female ejaculate can vary from woman to woman and sometimes from ejaculation to ejaculation. But in all cases, as amrita is a very elusive and ephemeral substance only shared by extremely intimate lovers, the drinker should feel honored by the very experience.

Acquiring new knowledge and skills along with new sexual techniques, will provide you with tremendous self-confidence and assurance in every area of your life.

Other pages:


Sexual anatomy and function
Women's arousal & sex
Male power
The clitoris & female sexuality
PE - background information
Simple Techniques For Better Sex
Do you come too quickly?
Male Sexual Pleasure
Circumcision & the penis
Sexual fantasy
Men and the one night stand
Forty mistakes men make in sex
Male multiple orgasms
Penis size & female pleasure
Delayed Ejaculation
Making love last a lifetime
Tantric sex
Tantric sex
Female ejaculation & the G spot
Sex positions for orgasm
Extended orgasm for women (1)
Extended orgasm for women (2)
Manifestation Law Attraction
Multiple orgasms for couples
Multiple orgasms & sexual healing
Women & sex
The penis and gender politics
Sex and sexuality
Making love and having sex
Oral sex techniques
Human sexuality & sexual problems
Desire, excitement and orgasm
Obesity and Sex
Arousal and orgasm
How to improve your sex life
Sex positions videos
Sex and love
The nature of love
Relationships and sex
Low sex drive in men
Making love after 50 years of age

Updated May 6 2023