Sex and LoveMale multiple orgasmsDispelling the Myths about Male Multiple Orgasm and Female Multiple Orgasm by Jack Johnston, M.A. (Psychology).
©Copyright 2003 by J & J Collaborations, Inc. All rights reserved. Used by permission. There are a number of myths about multiple orgasm that we will be addressing at this website. Among them are: MYTH #1a: Women are genetically designed to have as many orgasms as they want, while men are genetically designed to have only one or very few at any one time.
MYTH #1b: Men aren't physiologically capable of experiencing "true" multiple orgasms like women can...instead, all they can hope for is to last a little longer by learning to "hover" just this side of their ejaculatory "Point of No Return". (The Point of No Return is when the ejaculation reflex can no longer be prevented, similar to the Point of No Return you feel when you can no longer prevent a sneeze from happening.) Note: The Internet is rife with rationalizations to support this myth, ranging from: "That's just the way it is, and we have to accept it," through "It's God's Will," to "It's Nature's way of controlling population," and "It's Nature's way of keeping the man around the woman a little longer, wanting 'more'."
MYTH #2: For men, "orgasm" and "ejaculation" refer to exactly the same process and can be used interchangeably. Since most people - men and women alike - have been led by contemporary culture to believe this myth, they also believe that the only way for a man to experience some sort of orgasm repeatedly is for him to use some type of ejaculation control method to try and block the ejaculation reflex at the last moment before he feels that ejaculatory Point of No Return (PONR). Until now, this strategy of ejaculation prevention at the last moment has been the strategy of choice for most men, since after ejaculation they almost always experience a "refractory period," an erotic "down time" when they feel very little or no erotic energy, have very low erotic responsiveness to any attempts at further stimulation, and have little or no ability to have an erection (See myth #4). An important corollary to myth #2: Because for men orgasm is believed to be inseparably linked to ejaculation, the mistaken assumption is made that there is no way a man could possibly experience more intense erotic feeling than he does when he ejaculates. MYTH #3: Since people generally believe that male orgasm and ejaculation are the same process, myth #3 is that reaching orgasm/ejaculation requires quite a lot of mostly continuous stimulation. This myth uses myth #2 as a springboard. The "continuous stimulation" approach is also the method that women frequently learn, which they often say they have to use to "reach" for their orgasm. Most men have learned this continuous stimulation process when they first learned to masturbate to ejaculation, and, at least subconsciously, have accepted myth #3 as fact. Sexual pleasure for men is a mysterious and somewhat complicated series of sexual events. This means that women who wish to please a man in bed must have some grasp of male psychology. MYTH #4: A man must always have an erection to experience orgasm. This myth is linked especially to myth #2, that orgasm and ejaculation are basically two aspects of one "indivisible" process. Since it is usually true that a man needs an erection to experience ejaculation (one notable exception being in certain cases of premature ejaculation, where the penis may not be fully erect at the moment of emission), it naturally follows from the other myths that he will also "need" an erection in order to experience orgasm. But this is also a myth. There are a number of others, but let's start by replacing these four myths with sex facts: FACT #1a: Although there is a good deal of research showing that frequency of male ejaculation (i.e. the automatic emission of seminal fluid) has certain physical limitations due to what is referred to as the "refractory" (i.e. "recharging") period experienced by most (although not all) men, there is to date apparently no research supporting the idea that male orgasm is limited in such a way, except when linked with ejaculation.
As multiples.com Forum poster "Erty" noted recently: FACT #1b: When considering orgasm (i.e. the phenomenon of peaks of intense erotic pleasure) apart from ejaculation, the available data regarding the development of neural pathways in the body while still in the womb suggests that men and women have much more in common than we've been led to believe. In fact, for the first two months (eight weeks) of a child's development in the womb, both the neurological and proto-genital characteristics of all fetuses, regardless of ultimate gender, are virtually indistinguishable. "Doc-S," (who happens to be an M.D.) is one of the "regulars" at the website's Live Forum where men and women learn to enjoy multiple orgasm without requiring male ejaculation control methods. Regarding the similarities of Central Nervous System development and proto-genital characteristics, Doc-S recently posted:
COMMENTS: In other words, the nerves, the neural pathways, etc. are essentially the same in men and women, so it makes sense that we should have similar orgasmic - including multi-orgasmic - capacity. Note that by the eighth week, most of the Central Nervous System ("CNS") is already developed in both sexes, while testosterone secretion only begins at that time, so that the more gender-specific characteristics do not begin to become evident until several weeks later. Since orgasm (as distinct from ejaculation) in both men and women is primarily an experience of spontaneous rushes of pleasurable feeling, and since the CNS is the body's primary conduit or "wiring system" for conveying this energy throughout the body and appears to be mostly similar regardless of gender, it follows that orgasmic capacity, including multi-orgasmic capacity, may be far more similar in men and women than we have been led to believe. For example, "Pan," a multiples.com website regular who with his wife has learned this new way of enjoying true multiple orgasms, states in a recent Forum post:
Also notice that when Doctor-S referred to arousal, that is: the body's automatic response to stimulation, he stated that people along the full spectrum of gender experience arousal via a peripheral-to-central-to-peripheral nervous system feedback loop. Thus for women to learn to enjoy multiple orgasms without the feeling of having to "reach" for their orgasms, and for men to learn to enjoy multiple orgasms without requiring ejaculation control or ejaculation blocking methods, the secret is to learn to boost arousal to multi-orgasmic levels by capitalizing on the "peripheral-to-central-to-peripheral nervous system feedback loop" of arousal to which Doctor-S refers. The surprising breakthrough is, that these multi-orgasmically high levels of arousal are best learned by using surprisingly little (in fact, in the beginning, almost no) stimulation. FACT #2: Male orgasm and ejaculation are not just two aspects of the same, indivisible process. The globally and historically pervasive assumption that they are is just that... an assumption, and the good news is that it's an erroneous assumption, i.e., a myth! Orgasm and ejaculation are two distinct reflexes. They do not "have" to occur at the same time. A man does not "have to" experience ejaculation in order to experience orgasm, including multiple orgasm. The assumption that ejaculation and orgasm are inextricable parts of the same reflex has largely been a result of the way men during puberty typically "figure out" how to experience sexual peaks and orgasmic release. Most men learn this through masturbation... which is frequently shame-based, furtive, hurried, and involving a great deal of more or less continuous stimulation, often with relatively low levels of arousal, except arousal concentrated in the genital area. Because men don't understand how arousal can be allowed to spread throughout one's body rather than just having it concentrated in the genital area, their resultant climaxes are often only minimally satisfying. Men commonly report feeling disappointed and thinking "Is that all there is?" "mariachi," a poster at the multiples.com Forum recently was commenting on his sexual experience prior to beginning practice of the protocol:
In essence, our culture is over-stimulated and under-aroused. And, of course, under-pleasured. A shame, considering how important sexual pleasure is. Until now, men haven't understood how to truly separate arousal from ejaculation, but instead only to try to control or "block" the onset of the ejaculation reflex once it begins to happen, usually signaled by feelings of inevitability of ejaculation, known colloquially as the Point of No Return. Thus men may tend to feel unfairly limited by the refractory period, the usually mandatory "downtime" that nearly always follows male ejaculation between sexual activity sessions. As a result, all too often it's easy for men to slide into a spiral of despair, frustration, and resentment towards women, because they may never or nearly never feel really satisfied, and they experience a loss of hope of ever being able to be so. "mariachi" continued in that same post cited above:
By contrast, as multiples.com website regular "bilko" states:
And 70 year-old Ed C.'s post confirms both the ability to experience multiple orgasms without erection and a perceived shift in his attitude towards women:
FACT #3: Orgasm (an automatic response) is only indirectly a function of stimulation (a consciously initiated activity). In fact, orgasm is primarily the result of arousal ("arousal" being an automatic response to stimulation). When we realize this fact, we can begin to identify and distinguish between the activities which set the stage for triggering the male ejaculation reflex versus those activities that this author has determined will consistently trigger the spontaneous rushes of intense pleasure that constitute the multiple orgasm reflex, as distinct from the ejaculation reflex, in both men and women.
FACT #4: For nearly all men, some degree of erection has in most instances seemed necessary to experience orgasm (seemingly linked irrevocably to ejaculation). If a man or woman has been taught to believe the culturally-reinforced myth that orgasm accompanied by the self-limiting process of ejaculation is the only form of orgasmic release that is available to a man, a certain despair, and perhaps even feelings of shame and inadequacy of never really being able to satisfy or be satisfied can set in, not only in men but also in women who love men and want to be loved by men. This may result in a whole raft of emotional and social consequences, including but certainly not limited to shame, guilt, and a chronic, seemingly unidentifiable resentment towards one another. This often takes the form of male resentment towards women's alleged inevitably superior orgasmic capacity. But as seen by the table above and the representative comments just following, erection and/or ejaculation are not necessary in order to experience and even share with a partner continuous orgasmic waves, lasting from tens of minutes to hours, for both women and men. An erection may or may not develop as multi-orgasmic feelings begin or at any time during continuous multiple orgasms. For many people, these ideas may seem unfathomable. However, we have a set of positive and consistent reports in which a growing number of men and women attest to this new experience. We may therefore resummarize fact #4 in this way: Erection may or may not be present at the time of male orgasm. Erection is simply not necessary in order to experience (and share!) even very intense waves of orgasmic pleasure. CONCLUSION: Until now for the most part, full-body multiple orgasms with no holding back has for most men and women seemed just fated not to be. And for many men it may even have seemed genetically out of reach! This is a component of the sexuality mythology that has been part of culturalization for most of us. But now, instead of men needing to use a method that is:
they, as well as women, may now access a culturally demythologized protocol which:
Now, both men and women are discovering their innate ability to experience multi-orgasmically high arousal, feelings of greater intimacy, and a deeper sense of knowing one's erotic self and that of one's partner. For example, they report that:
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Updated 23 February 2020