Sex, Love and Relationships
Oral sex - fellatio - may be a good precursor to sexual intercourse for men who ejaculate prematurely, while him giving oral sex to his partner may just excite him so much that when he enters her he ejaculates almost immediately.
The opposite condition - of being unable to ejaculate in a timely way - is called delayed ejaculation.
This can cause disruption to relationships - a man not being able to ejaculate strikes at the root of sexual confidence for both men and women alike. If you want to know more about delayed ejaculation, check out this information here.
But if you want to know how to last longer when you make love, the ideal situation is for the man to receive fellatio before penetrating his partner, or for him to bring her to orgasm so she is satisfied - by means of cunnilingus - before penetrating her.
These principles are also equally true of general and powerful hugging, which is really a sort of pre-coital dominating of the female's body by that of the male.
Women who are normal are thrilled by being strongly embraced and held helplessly in the arms of a man to whom they are attracted, and enjoy pretending that they are being dragged off by a cave-man and being forced to do what he wants very much.
They don't really want to be forced, but the idea excites them.
And women are likely to close their eyes, when the man goes on to a more intimate exploration of their bodies with his own, and to feel - like the sweet old lady explaining to the young girl what to expect on her wedding-night - "It's all beautiful, beautiful, beautiful!"
That is not the way a man feels at all, and his perfectly normal approach to the woman he wants to make love to may partake of an extremely powerful psychological undercurrent of wanting to dominate and overwhelm her, even to hurt her.
Women sometimes waste a good deal of their erotic activity and attention in lying to caress a man's body or genitals in trick ways they think will excite him specially, while he is simultaneously caressing them.
Actually, this tends to siphon off much of the psychological concentration which the woman would better spend on feeling and enjoying intensely what is happening to her, and thus preparing herself for intercourse and orgasm.
Orgasm cannot be achieved at all without, first, a relaxation of the emotions and body, and particularly of any sexual repression, so that excitement can take place, and second, the creation of sexual tension, both physical and emotional, of which orgasm is the final release.
No real man wants a woman to bear-hug him, nor to lie on top during anything from a kiss to total intercourse, except as an occasional amusing changeover.
The most virile men and womanly women never feel much urge toward any such swapping of sexual roles.
The unchangeable matching functions of the penetrating penis and the ensheathing vagina, throughout the mammalian order, leave absolutely no doubt as to what are the biologically true and natural sexual characters of male and female!
Most of the positions the woman can take in cunnilingus can also be taken by the man being fellated, and for this reason no special discussion of positions for fellatio has been made.
The passivity of the man is in general so great, during fellatio, that even that classic position for the woman in coitus or cunnilingus may be used, lying on his-or-her back with the legs uplifted and bent back at the hips, the knees being pressed down toward the chest by the arm of the oral partner, who may also be capturing both of the other's feet (held sole-to-sole) with one hand.
In this position, just as the woman's vulva - when the action is cunnilingus - is wholly lifted and exposed to the man's oral caresses (or to his phallic penetration, if he prefers); just so - when the action is fellatio - the man's erect penis and testicles appear between and below his uplifted legs, and are there accepted orally by the woman.
For a better orgasm, click here - to know how to please your girl, click here. But basically, the man will almost invariably be pressing himself tensely against the woman's head and mouth, and driving his penis in & out by his own effort, precisely as in vaginal coitus (except not quite so forcefully).
The woman remains passive to a degree, assisting him with the soft, sucking surfaces of her lips, tongue, and the inside of her cheeks as much as she can - sometimes also with her hands - but without actually making any except reciprocating motions with her head.
Her head is also likely to be immobilized, flat against a pillow, or vertical against the head-rest of a chair, sofa, or car-seat - even against a wall but in this case the man should place one or both of his hands behind her head, with the palm cupping her hair.
For it is only the emotional feeling and physical semblance of domination of the woman by the man that is desired - as much as in vaginal intercourse.
The strokes should not be allowed to become unpleasant, and slight pauses between the in-driving strokes by the man will usually make it easier for her to accept even his most forceful thrusts.
Their responses must be suitably cushioned against actually harming each other: the man against harming the woman's mouth with his penis and the thrust of his pelvic bone over the pubis; the woman against harming the man's penis with her fingers or teeth.
A very simple method of preventing the thrusts of the man's penis from hurting the woman's mouth or choking her, is for the woman (or the man himself) to wrap one hand around the penis, allowing only a reasonable amount to enter at every thrust.