Sex and Love
If you thought the path to sexual happiness was simple, look at this list of
sexual blunders made by men when they're enjoying sex. If any of them seem
familiar, you need to sharpen up on your bedroom etiquette!
And here are
6 more sex mistakes women make.
1) Thinking her vulva, clitoris or breasts are the first places to go when you
A woman is more likely to be irritated than sexually aroused when a man heads
for her breasts and vulva after a bit of kissing.
Be sensitive and touch her
sexual areas only when she's sexually aroused. If you go for her breasts when
you get her into bed and twiddle her nipples like you're tuning a radio
receiver, you're not going to get the right signals.
2) Not knowing how to kiss romantically and forcefully like a man
Passionate kissing is an art form which eases you both into the main event of
sex and cultivates intimacy. Learn how to kiss your woman, and do it well.
wouldn't include sticking your tongue between her teeth and wiggling it around
like you're trying to clean her teeth.
3) Being too rough when you touch her sensitive parts and erogenous zones
Men like to have a firm touch applied to their penis. But if you approach her
clitoris with the same as you apply to your penis when you're treating Mr. Happy
to a quick morning massage, she's likely to howl with pain - and then she'll
probably kick you out of bed. The clitoris has twice as many nerves as the
penis, so it's very sensitive. Treat it accordingly.
4) Not stroking her body as well as her mind
A woman's biggest sex organ is her mind. The next biggest is her skin. If you
were thinking of anything else, think again. For her, sex is all about making
connection. And that includes skin to skin connection. An hour spent massaging
her will arouse her to her need for sex and almost certainly guarantee she has
an orgasm one way or another.
So ensure you focus on putting your sexual energy
into your fingers while you massage her. That means not thinking distractedly
about the baseball game while you're oiling her up.
5) Locking onto her nipples like a teething suckling child
Tempting though it may be to suck on her breasts, she's not going to want you
reminding her of the last time a teething child bit into her nipple.
around her breasts and gently work towards her nipple, licking it with your
tongue and maybe sucking it between your lips when she's really aroused. If she
likes what you're doing, you'll know by her moans of pleasure.
6) Biting or blowing on her ear or her neck because you think it's sexy
Very few women seem to find this exciting. Your time would be better spent
searching out her sensitive zones elsewhere.
7) Leaving a kiss bite on her neck - or anywhere else it can be seen
If you're an adult, this is a no-no. If you need to know why, you're obviously
under age and you shouldn't be having sex.
8) Not shaving (your face!) before sex
Think back to the last time you gave oral sex to a woman with a few days'
stubble around her vulva. Now imagine that stubble brushing back and forth on
your face in the mad throes of passionate kissing. Enough said?
9) Not washing your armpits and genitals before you make love
Even if you have what the French call a tart's wash, make sure you're a
smell-free zone when you enter the bedroom.
(In case you need to know - the male
tart's wash is washing your penis, balls, ass, and armpits.)
10) Forgetting that real foreplay starts a long time before sex begins
No woman wants to be taken for granted. If you touch her lovingly all day, show
how much you love her, and take the trouble to make sure she knows you're
thinking of her, she'll be ready to melt into your arms in the evening. Leaving
loving little notes where she'll find them is also a good idea. But make sure
they are romantic!
11) Penetrating her vagina before she's ready
Yes, we know you want to get into her. But hold on. Take your time, let events
move at their own pace, and only pluck the fruit when you know it's really ripe
and dripping juice.
While men forget that women like to be entered just as much
as men (which is just as well, when you think how much men like to stick things
up a woman),
she'll only want penetration when she's aroused enough
to enjoy it.
So as you finger her clit, you can check out
her vagina. If it's moist and open,
she may well be receptive to a finger on her G-spot. Start gently and apply a
firmer touch as you go. If you don't know what the G-spot is, go check it out on
12) Going straight to her clitoris during oral sex cunnilingus or masturbation
Most women just find this irritating - and very uncomfortable too, if the clit
isn't aroused and slippery.
Work from around her labia, the lips around her
vulva, towards the clitoris as she gets more aroused. Even then, a subtle touch
along the shaft of her clitoris around to the side of the clitoral head may be
better for her.
13) Stopping when she wants you to keep stimulating her clit till she comes
If she's almost at orgasm she certainly won't want you to stop whatever you're
doing, whether it's with your penis, your fingers or your tongue.
Since cunnilingus is hard on the tongue, we
suggest you make sure your hands are ready in reserve if you get a bad case of
cramp. If she's not saying much, she may be lying there silent because she's got
lost in her excitement, not because you're licking ineffectively at her vulva.
But then again, how would you know? She may
be so excited by what you're doing that she shows it by pressing her vulva more
firmly against your mouth, in which case carry on with your stimulation.
gives off an aura that she'd rather be cooking the dinner, you need to think of
something else. Like asking her what she wants, maybe?
14) Undressing her like a clumsy young man
Listen up guys: you don't have to take her bra off with one hand blindfold in
the dark while you kiss her. That's what a guy who's
having sex for the first time
tends to think.
You have more sexual experience that that,
Indeed, she might well appreciate it more if you
let her disrobe. Nothing about an underwear fumble is funny, especially if it
interrupts the romance. Let her take off the clothes you don't know about and
when you do help, make it look like you're delicately removing her garments
rather than pulling at her clothes like you can't wait to fuck her - even if you
15) Looking like a klutzy clown in the bedroom
Nothing is more comical to a woman than a man wearing his underpants and socks.
Why this should be so remains a mystery, since it seems so natural to a man to
undress like that. However, if you don't want her to take pity on you, take off
your socks first.
16) Expecting her to shave her pubes for you
Yes, we know you like the smooth look around her vulva, but if she's not into
shaving, don't put pressure on her to smooth it out for you. There are few
things less comfortable than itchy stubble in the pubes. If you want to see more
and have easier access to her pussy, ask her to lightly trim the hair.
17) Entering her vagina without asking her first
Such a controversial idea! And yet so nice - occasionally, at least - to be
romantic and ask "May I enter you?" This can be a very exciting and loving way
to go if you're looking deep into her eyes.
Needless to say, that's most likely
to happen in the missionary, which, by the way, remains everyone's most popular
position for sex.
And then again, there are times when you can just sense the
moment for penetration - but always remember not to let your judgment be
affected by your desire to fuck here. Yes, we know it feels very nice. But be a
man - and make sure she's ready first.
18) Probing around her vulva or her clit or anywhere else with your penis if you can't get in
This will turn her off at once - guaranteed. If you can't find the way in (it
happens) on your own, tell her what's going on and ask her to guide your penis
in. There's no shame in that, but acting like a clown can ruin sex for you both.
And anyway, think how much time you'll save if
she just puts it in for you.
If you want
anal sex in any
position, ask her, don't just force your penis into the wrong opening "By
19) Pumping away with your cock without regard for her pleasure
Now you're in! Hurrah! But what will you do next? Pump away heartily till you
ejaculate? Bad idea.....surely you'll want to show a certain consideration for
her pleasure? Start with slow and shallow thrusts.
When you make love, she'll
like it best if you act masculine and strong: be confident, know what you're
doing, be considerate and gentle at first, and work up to harder and more
vigorous thrusts if she makes it clear that's what she wants (as in "oh, yes,
fuck me harder!").
20) Expecting her to willingly offer her rear end for doggie
It's a male thing, the desire for rear entry sex. Mostly. Then again, there will
be times when the mood takes her and she just wants the naughty, raunchy feeling
of rear entry sex.
In between, you might get it on your birthday, if you're
lucky. And if you do persuade her to indulge you, don't make the mistake of
slapping her rump like you're spurring her on to buck harder and faster.
21) Thrusting too hard when you have a long, long penis
If you happen to have a big penis, restrain yourself as you thrust, or you might
hear her shriek as you hit her cervix. This will not, probably, be a shriek of
sexual pleasure. It may, however, signal the end of your pleasure for the
22) Rapid ejaculation - premature ejaculation to you - is not the mark of a good lover
Very few men have the endurance that allows them to really satisfy a woman who
enjoys vaginal intercourse and thrusting against her G-spot. You can improve
your endurance with self help exercises, but if you just can't be bothered, at
least have the consideration to keep going for at least long enough to give her
Do some research on
how to stop rapid
and you might last a bit longer in bed.
23) Not coming at all - delayed ejaculation
Delayed ejaculation is not the gift of the gods that you might think. Your partner won't
see it as any kind of blessing, either, when her cunt is bone dry, she's bored
out of her mind and you still aren't anywhere near ejaculating.
So if you are
one of the men who have trouble reaching orgasm caused by ejaculation problems,
then this treatment for retarded ejaculation will help you
have a normal sex life. The quicker you get treated, the sooner she'll be able to enjoy sex with you!
24) Losing your hard-on when you put the condom on
If you're one of the many men who find that Mr Happy goes to sleep when the
condom makes an appearance, it's back to Google for you. Try a search on "losing
erection when putting on a condom" and see if there are any tips to keep your
25) Not giving her oral sex to orgasm
I haven't yet met a man who didn't like the idea of going down on a woman, so
any reservations must be about her scent or taste. If she's a bit ripe, then
suggest a shower as part of foreplay.
Remember that oral sex is actually a
pretty sure fire way to orgasm for many women, especially those who can't reach orgasm during intercourse
or who are pre-orgasmic.
If all you're interested in is getting her
to suck your cock and you won't do the same in return, reading these tips isn't
going to help you much anyway.
26) Failing to give her pleasure if you have premature ejaculation
By the way, you should make sure that your woman has an orgasm before you do.
She doesn't want to lie awake next to you as you snore gently after a big orgasm
while she's still frustrated because
she hasn't come.
We men lose interest in sex once we've come -
so make sure she comes through oral sex or masturbation before you enter her.
That way, she gets to have an orgasm, and you can enjoy her vagina when it's
aroused and tumescent after she's come.
Don't just penetrate her, thrust and
ejaculate before going to sleep. How boorish can you be? And if you are
interested in preventing premature ejaculation, make sure you do something about it.
27) Trying to make her give you fellatio by forcing her head down
She decides if she wants to give you oral
sex, not you. Forcing her head towards your penis is as bad as forcing your
penis towards her vagina when she says "no". If she doesn't seem to be
interested and you'd like a bit of oral pleasure, just say to her: "Could you
just do something for me...."
And when she is giving you fellatio, keep your
hands off her head. That way you'll avoid the temptation to grab her and start
giving her an involuntary lesson in deep throat technique. However, stroking her
hair gently is acceptable.
Trying to make it look like you're stroking her
hair when all you want to do is move it so you can see her gobbling you is not
28) Ejaculating in her mouth without checking first
The taste of your ejaculate is very much an acquired taste; unfortunately it's
one that few women like to acquire. A great way of getting around this is for
you to have her keep going with her mouth until the last minute, then tell her
that you're going to ejaculate.
She can then move back and complete the job with
a well-lubed hand.
You'll get just as much sensation, while she's spared the
taste of your semen. But "accidentally" forgetting to tell her you're going to
come is not good etiquette. if you want to experiment, try eating some pineapple
before she gives you a blow job. It's said to improve the flavor of semen.
29) Looking at hard core pornography
Yes, I know some women like it, but most porn available today is pretty abusive
of women, and a lot of it's lacking any sense of morality.
You can make a choice
which side you're on for or against the abuse of women who feature in porn - and
a difficult choice it is, since most of us can so easily shut off a sense of
right and wrong when turned on by fairly disgusting porno. The fact that porn
turns you on and gives you a good orgasm doesn't make it right to look at it,
If you want her to share it, ask her first, and get hold of some romantic sex
movies that will appeal to her emotions as well as her sex drive. (And this
spare you the shame of knowing you're part of the porn problem.)
30) Apologizing for the size of your penis
She isn't interested in the size of your erect or flaccid penis, even if you are. All she wants
is to feel loved and cherished. Remember that 99% of women want a caring lover,
not one with a large penis. The other 1% aren't likely to be your kind of girl
31) Telling her what your last lover did for you
White lies may be best. When she asks you if her butt is too big, what do you
say? Enough said. Your current lover is the most gorgeous, sexy and desirable
one you ever met. Your past lover didn't come close. Even if she doesn't really
believe it, that's what she wants to hear.
32) Suggesting her best friend joins you for sex
Threesomes can be very arousing, in fact, but they nearly always end in tears.
What usually happens is that surprising jealousy bites someone's butt and then
the fireworks start. So be sure, be very sure, you know what you're doing before
you try this one.
33) Making her do all the work during sex
Changing sex positions is great, but asking her to sit on you every single time
you have sex seems a bit one sided. Vary your sexual positions, have fun, and
make sure you do equal work. And don't use one position over and over - that can
get very boring.
34) Trying to slip it in her ass by "accident"
If you do want to
experiment with a bit of anal
sex action, go slowly. And discuss it first. She's not likely to
believe your penis is poking her rear end by accident. And
even if she's seen you drive around aimlessly when you're lost, rather than ask
for directions, she won't believe you when you say you lost your way en route to
As for her anus in general, well, when you're fingering her clitoris, and your
finger is in her vagina, you may find that a little anal stimulation goes down
well. Use your little finger to press gently at her anus as your other finger plays with
G spot and you stimulates her clitoris.
This may get her more excited if
she's on the verge of coming. But if you try this before she's so aroused she's
stopped caring what you're doing, you might turn her off completely.
35) Photographing or videoing your lovemaking
This is not a good idea. Instead link your video camera direct to your
television set without recording the images so you can see yourself having sex
on the TV now, and not view the pictures on the internet in a few years' time.
36) Getting into a sexual rut
Making changes when you have sex will keep your sex life exciting and
passionate. You'll be surprised just how exciting it is to try different sex
positions from time to time.
Every sex position puts a different pressure on the
penis and vagina, and lets you see your partner's body in a new way, or allows
you to see yourself entering your partner's body. Variation is good! Search on
Google for "sex positions".
37) Not romancing her
Men put up with romance to get sex. Women love romance because it shows how much
their partner loves them. Ah. Truly, different strokes for different folks!
romantic game is deeply rewarding for most men (i.e. nothing feels better than
seducing and winning a woman - except having sex with her), and romance is part
of that process. If you can be romantic when you're a couple, then you show
yourself to be a good lover, a kind companion, and besides all that you stand
that much greater chance of getting regular, passionate sex.
38) Watching too many porn films
Don't copy the moves you see in pornography. They aren't to most women's taste.
If you don't know why, well, maybe you need to mature a bit before you actually
make love to a woman.
39) Deafening her by shouting in her ear when you ejaculate during sex
This is an easy mistake to make in the missionary position when you're holding
her close. Remember not to let the world know when you ejaculate. Bury your face
in the pillow or something if you're prone to uncontrollable vocal ejaculations
as well as physical ones.
40) Talking dirty without checking if she likes it
Dirty talks makes sex good! The first time she tells you to fuck her hot wet
cunt you'll see what I mean. If that hasn't happened yet, and you'd like it to,
encourage her to say a few rude thing when you're making love, perhaps by trying
them out yourself first, and see how it goes.
You might be surprised - when a
woman's feeling aroused, she's often ready to do things that seem quite out of
41) Ejaculating on her when she least expects it
Ejaculating between her breasts or on her vulva or between her buttocks can be
incredibly exciting, but it's a good idea to ask her first. She may be less
impressed with your ejaculation than you are, especially if it involves the need
to clean up bits of herself.
42) Not cleaning up after sex or dropping the condom on the floor
Sex involves two people - so does the clean up. Keep tissues handy, offer her a
warm towel to clean herself if you aren't using condoms. If you are, don't drop
it on the floor as a little souvenir for her to find later!
43) Not telling her how beautiful she is and how much you love her
Tell her you love her. There are lots of other men who'd be very happy to be
where you've just been. If you don't express your appreciation, they might just
get in there.