To spit or swallow? To come on her face?

Question:

She lets me do it in her mouth every time I ask, even swallows sometimes. She lets me do it on her rear all the time and once I did on her breasts but she will not let me ejaculate on her face. Isn't it unusual? Why do you think that is?

Answers:

A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2009):
Like other people have said, consider yourself happy that she lets you come in her mouth and ass every time. As for why she wouldn't let you come on her face, why didn't you ask her?

A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009): my dude... it depends on the girl...every girl has different reasons not to do it....most common ones i hear is..."i don't want it in my mouth" or "on my clothes"....but if she swallows and takes it on the body then the only thing i can think of is....she don't wanna mess up her face or hair...some girls do the makeup thing hard...or go hard to take good care of their face....she probably thinks she's gonna break out (sounds crazy i know....but u don't know how many girls 18-23 i've dated felt that way)... or don't want the shit in her eye...but in the end it jus comes down to u out right asking...and ask the real reason why...

A female reader, poetrygoddess +, writes (5 December 2009): I don't know. I understand many women might find it offensive because they feel like you're soiling her face as if her face isn't pretty for you. Something like that. I can empathize. Personally I let my boyfriend do it cuz I know he loves me but I wouldn't let some random dude/asshole do it. With my boyfriend, I like it and it turns me on and I love when he calls me his dirty little girl hehe. And I feel comfortable with him and know I can trust him. Plus, he's not some quickie who's gonna put on his pants faster than I can blink and leave me with his seed on my face. That would be degrading! Like soil her and leave! But with my loved one, I can relax and indulge in dirty behavior and he doesn't respect me any less cuz I wasn't easy to begin with. Plus, he cleans me off lovingly and we cuddle and pillow talk afterwards. I love him dearly!

A female reader, sarrie +, writes (4 November 2009): It's sad that it's thought of so backward ass... speaking of backward ass..like the other poster mentioned being taken from behind could be seen as "degrading" but don't knock it till you try it...people wouldn't do it if it didn't wildly excite them.. and as a female I find "come play" anywhere I can get it extremely arousing and naughty.

Degrading... that's like saying a playful spank is degrading. And dominance? It has nothing to do with dominance for the men I've been with, some of each would get wildly excited seeing my face hit by other men. How does that sound "dominant"? It excites me, and it it excites them. to each his own.

A male reader, praises17 +, writes (26 September 2009): she probably has a problem cleaning it off her face. like it just feels wrong for her to have it on her face you know? she'll probably never give in. but there is nothing wrong with wanting to do it. its sexy as. my wife loves it. i'm always the one who chickens out. but i'm starting to unleash on her face more often. just ease up and maybe ask her once every 6 months.

A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2009): My fiancÚ really wanted to try this, and I had told him before that I would try anything once... and if we enjoyed it, we would do it again. So I agreed, even though the entire idea of him coming on my face didn't really turn me on (in fact, I was kinda shy about the whole thing...). Anyway, we both have a policy where we will try each others' fantasies (any limits we have on this, we established from the first time we discussed it).

Well, one night we tried it. And you know what? He REALLY enjoyed it. And you know what? I didn't hate it. It didn't turn me on, but it didn't turn me off, either.

Plus, I love when he and I take showers together. It was the PERFECT excuse for us to take a shower together and for him to show me how much he loves me by slowly washing my hair and giving me a scalp massage to get it out of my hair... he took a lot of gentle care to love on me in the shower afterwards, like slowly lathering me and giving me a back massage... the fact that he took the time to make ME feel super pleased in a semi-non-sexual way was awesome, after I helped him with his fantasy. Now we tend to repeat the act often.

just because I'm not pleased by him coming on my face, doesn't mean that I'm not pleased by the situation altogether. The point is that I offer the face, which he enjoys but I could care less about, and he offers to wash me after, which I really enjoy, but he doesn't really care about. It's all about give and take, and trying new things.

A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2009): Because women feel it's degrading. How to cure premature ejaculation is discussed here too.

a male reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2009): There are two side to this issue: 1. If the girl is a random acquaintance, and you are in it for the fun of it, then there is no problem with it. 2. If the woman cares about you, and says not to do it, and you still do it, she's going to be mad. Why? Because she told you not to, and you did it anyway, showing you don't care what she wants and this is probably why it is seen as degrading. 3. If you are in a relationship and both parties are kosher with the idea, then it is by all means fine. i am guilty of number 2 as I did not like the girl as a person and that pretty much ended things.

A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2009): Ok, here is my 2 cents on the subject. i guess I should start by saying that 1- I am a guy, 2- My lady friend and I do practice this act, and 3 I have no problems reciprocating the act.

With that said, I can't for the life of me figure out how so many people came to the conclusion that this is a thing of degradation. It seems to me that this isn't really any different than ejaculation on the bust or back, or anywhere else on your partner.

I think that probably at one point in time "doggy-style" might have seemed degrading too, I mean to bend your partner over and copulate with them in an animal fashion, that seems insulting, no?

Yet here we are; the modern day sexual trailblazers, doing new and forbidden things like "doggy-style" or maybe Anal, or perhaps something far more subtle... shaving our pubic hair. strange? perverse? degrading?

Only if you think it is, Personally , I refuse to be prudish that way. I mean that, if my partner wants me to have it (hers or mine) on MY face, well, I am in. That's just how I am.

A female reader, jebuslovesloli +, writes (28 March 2009): I don't really care about this 'degrading' thing, whatever. I just don't let my boyfriend come on my face cause I did once and he got it in my hair. I have dreads, so this caused a huge mess and was a complete bitch to get out.. Plus it got in my eye, felt disgusting and felt even worse trying to wipe it off my face. He can come anywhere else on me and in me, but my face is just off limits.

A reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2009): I think it's safe to say that most women do not like facial come shots. I've experienced three different levels of reaction to this from women that I've been with. Before I get to that I have to say that for me it is a HUGE turn on to shoot my rather large load on a sexy receptive face! After seeing this act portrayed in one of the first porn films I saw, I was hooked! I think it was Peter North who was the "shooter." This guy is known for the quantity and distance of his shot.

The woman that I first hooked up with eventually figured out that I had this specific fantasy. I didn't press it because I didn't want to forfeit the relationship - I cared for her a lot and thought 'long term' about our situation. Still, IT kind of stayed there in my unconscious and conscious mind, "Damn, that would be hot!" Toward the end of this relationship, she was giving me head and was unusually sexual, she said "Do you want to come on my face?" I was stoked! Until we had to cool it because my roommate just got home. Never got the opportunity with her again.

Reaction 1) After that relationship I dated a gal that was very sexual. I told her of my fantasy and she "let" me come on her face because she knew I enjoyed it so much. She also like to be held down and spanked. She didn't love to take a facial but liked to please me. Reaction 2) During my most serious relationship I accidentally hit my partner's face a couple of times after pulling out - I can shoot a long way - the reactions I got were "oh, gross!" and "yuck!"

Those responses were definitely a turn off. She was completely grossed out by the whole idea of a facial. Reaction 3) My most recent relationship was with a very sexually expressive woman who was completely turned on by the very idea of hot come raining down on her! In fact, it helps HER to get off!! Aside from this she was the sexiest woman I have ever met! She liked it rough, and was very uninhibited to say the least! She loved having come on her, wherever!

Each of these were CONSENSUAL relationships - in every way!! You can choose to see facials as degrading or demeaning outside of and away from the sexual act itself. That's your belief. But, if you equate everyday-socializing-working-public consciousness/behavior with the intensity and passion that is the sexual experience, that's too bad - for you!

As long as there is mutual respect, no physical or psychological harm, who cares if someone outside of the scene doesn't approve!! Personally I can't imagine being into scat; sharing human waste - the idea of disease and sickness puts that in its own twisted realm.

I wonder if a guy likes female squirt on his face, should we all start discussing his motivation to be demeaned or should we just say "whatever turns you (and your partner) on?"

A male reader, pursuit of happiness +, writes (22 August 2008): I'm 30 years old and about as liberal as you can get. But I simply don't understand why you would want to come on a girl's face. They do it in porn movies because it would be pointless to come inside her etc... they have to make everything graphical, but... I can't help thinking it is something to do with degrading a woman or having power over her, even if it is just roleplay. Perhaps its a fetish which has developed by watching porn movies. I just don't get it.

A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2008): The first time I came on my wife's face we were masturbating together and I just said, I'm going to come on your face" and did it. She smiled but didn't say anything about it. I did it again a few weeks later. Later that day I apologized, thinking maybe she wasn't into it. She said, "Why are you apologizing? I love it! It makes me feel so slutty." She is not a slut at all (except in the bedroom) so this fulfills a fantasy for her. She now asks me sometimes to come on her face. The larger the load the better she likes it.

A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2008): Although I have not let it happen to me yet, I want to touch on the idea of coming on your girlfriend being degrading. More than anything, I really think it depends on the depth of the relationship. In a healthy relationship where both partners love each other and have no urge to harm the other, what makes us (as females) think that all the sudden our men want to degrade us? We have to stop thinking that anything that we are uncomfortable with has intention to harm us. Many men think it is very attractive for their gf/wives/etc to be WILLING to do these things, not because it shows "who is the boss" but because it shows she loves him enough to try something that she may not be into. It shows that because he is interested in it, she will give it a try, for him.

Conversely, in instances such as porn, it can be labeled as degrading, as more often then not parties are being paid to do these acts, likely out of desperation. But even in porn, I wouldn't say its purpose is to degrade, but rather to show dominance. Which are two totally different things. Dominance and submission are forms of play. That's what sex is, what part of sex isn't rooted in dominance and submission at least in a small way? Giving, receiving, in a way, it's all the same. I urge you all to think about the other side of this idea. The one that has nothing to do with degradation, and more to do with curiosity, and love.

A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2008): Be pleased that she lets you come in her mouth. Come on your face is degrading...no matter what you see in films. If you really want to push the agenda let her ejaculate on your face see how that feels.

A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2007): as a girl I thought it was weird at first too. Now I just make a game out of it. Like if he wants to get off on my face, he better make a big mess out of me. I he's not allowed to masturbate a few days beforehand and I def take my time with it when its time to get busy. I found that the longer I play with it before getting him off, especially teasing, like stopping when he's getting close, then making him cool down before we start again. I enjoy watching the porn too, so I wear some really slutty make-up for him. Its just a game, the more he comes the better I feel I did my job. Tell your girl to get over it and just have fun with it. Before you know it, she'll be on her knees begging you to come on her face so hard she can feel it running down her back.

A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2007): with my ex she would do everything sex in every position oral anything and everything. But not come on her face she would have anal sex or even a 3some but come on her face would be disgusting and degrading that was what my ex thought of it !

A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2007): Unreal or not - a question which brings forth debate. Porn, semen, degradation, horniness, etc.

A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2007): Getting come on the face is degrading. Maybe she doesn't want to feel like a porn star. Respect her, if she doesn't want to, deal with it. If you want someone more freaky in bed then break up with her.

A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2007): I think you should talk to her. Explain why you want to do it. The first time my boy friend asked me I was kinda scared. I didn't know what to say, but wanted to please him so I said yes. He stood above me and I kneeled down while her jerked off all over my face. It was quite a shock. But the warmness and the texture is really kinda sexy. My boyfriend is kinda obsessed with it now. Most times we have sex he shoots his load on my face when he's ready. I think I've drunk and play with more come in the last 3 months than I ever have in my life. Can't get enough of his come all over me. I just like feeling like a complete mess - like he's made a mess all over me. So yeah - maybe if you ask her she'll say yes. Maybe she'll understand better if you talk about it. Maybe she'll like it as much as I did.

A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007): depends on what 'grabs' you. I kind of just fall into oral with my girlfriend and sometimes she swallows and other times she likes the come as she says it makes it like a porn movie. It's about how horny she is.

A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2007): I can understand a girl not wanting to allow this, especially with somebody they are not comfortable with. My girlfriend and I do it sometimes. I always ask first. If she says no that's fine. Sometimes she isn't in the mood and on occasion she asks for it because she likes to dirty feeling. It's not about degrading her. Her asking me is the hottest thing ever.

A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2007): I'm a married woman and love having my husband come on my face....and anywhere else for that matter. We've been having great sex for 8 years and it just keeps getting better. I don't find it disgusting or degrading to have his come on my face, and it's never stung my eyes. Yet surely this would promote a fear of intimacy if a woman did not like it?

A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2007): have you asked her why yet?

A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2007): I think I have the experience and security in having explored my own and other's sexuality. I'd like to share my thoughts for those of you that truly struggle with this issue. I think it's important not to make light of it. Women need to understand that the male sexual psyche is often very centered around a graphic stimulation. We are also divided into many other areas, including the emotional.

But the "idea" of being able to come on a woman's face is an intense stimulation to the graphic part of what turns us on. Now, your kink may be fueled by degrading your partner. That isn't necessarily a bad thing if it's done in play and there is adequate communication and love and everything else where both partners are "into" that. But it doesn't have to be degrading. In fact, I tend to identify that particular "kink" with quite the opposite. Suppose you have a sexually transmitted infection, or even a yeast infection? Where does that leave you?

For me at least, the woman I am with is so sexually appealing, beautiful, erotic ... that to see her with such blatant sexual "evidence" on her body or on her face, or anywhere is incredibly sexy and stimulating to me. She is the epitome of what is sexual and erotic in my male psyche. This is why I am with her and why I feel so attracted to her sexually. I'm not attempting to degrade someone I feel so incredibly close to. I'm exploring a sexual "kink" that can be extremely erotic to both partners. It's got nothing to do with porn .. BUT .. let porn be a very LARGE clue to insight on the male sexual psyche.

Why DO so many porn stars end a scene with come on their face? Is it that the majority of males out there want to degrade women? I would argue no. That's ridiculous. Sure, some do ... some even do on a playful level ... I don't criticize for what is enjoyable between two people. The important thing in that is consensuality and comfort with your partner.
I might be a bit blunt in my opinion.

But I'm no stranger to sex, to many partners over the years ... and I tend to find those women that do not like come on their face tend to feel this way for a couple reasons: 1) they're not truly comfortable with sex, meaning they have some hangups. (that's not a bad thing .. just means they have their own reasons for finding it gross, degrading or whatever). Or 2) They're not truly comfortable or communicative with their partner.

I think when you have great communication, a close comfortable relationship with each other, and an open mind and desire to explore your sexuality as well as your partners .. you have a great recipe for exploring sexual fantasies and kinks together. It doesn't mean it will always lead both to enjoy the same things ... but it tends to allow that kind of thing more often.

The answer is not to feel guilty, yell, be angry or hurt, nag, force or anything like that. The answer is communication, patience and two people that truly WANT to explore each other's sexuality. Not just their own.

I think when you love someone and you are sexually attracted to them and feel extremely turned on to them ... there's nothing gross about their body, their smell, their taste, etc. Sex can be a wonderful way to explore each other and yourself. And if you do find some part of them "gross" .. you really should explore why. Maybe it's not your preference ... but gross? Sex is so much about giving to each other. It's hard for me to understand being with someone where you don't have that. And if you find yourself in that position, you're missing out on an incredible level of closeness with your partner. Talk to each other.

A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2007): "degrading" ? I never quite understood that either. Can anyone please explain to me why it is degrading, rather than stating that it is? Vice versa, it's not degrading for a man to go down on his woman, cover half of his face with her secretions and stick his tongue into an orifice of her body? Personally, I think the equivalent would be for the man to withdraw his attention from her clitoris right before she comes and use his fingertips instead to bring her over the edge (because female orgasmic secretions on his tongue are "degrading").

A female reader, luckygirl84 +, writes (23 May 2007): It does not feel right to have come on your face. My ex boyfriend did come on my hair gross. That is one of the reasons he is now the ex lol.

A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2007): please, you both need to grow up! You need to be more savvy having sex and explorative. Try to talk and be open while respecting each other. My wife did not like it at the beginning but now is a normal act between us. Just respect each other and give it time. Never push anyone to do something she/he does not like. Sex is always great when you finish up and hold each other at the end.

A female reader, TasteofIndia writes (21 May 2007): Okay, clearly you've never gotten semen in your eye. If you really want to know why she doesn't want it in the face, it's because taking it in the face is kinda gross, stings the eyes, messy as hell, and not to mention, it can feel pretty degrading to some. Yeah, they all take it in porn like champs. Well, maybe if you offer your girlfriend a buttload of cash, she'll smile and take it too. If she doesn't want it in the face, be a gentleman and don't give it to her in the face. You should respect her that much.

A male reader, kenny, writes (21 May 2007): I guess everyone is different, some girls like it, some don't. She obviously doesn't. Have respect that she doesn't like it. She lets you come everywhere else, be happy with this.

A male reader, Yos writes (21 May 2007): Unusual? No, its very usual. Many (most?) people find coming in someone's face degrading, not least because it stings if it gets in someone's eye. Yes it happens in porn (mainly because its degrading), and those women are paid a lot for the 'pleasure'.

A male reader, mitch , writes (21 May 2007): maybe just because she doesn't like it? and no, it's not unusual for someone not to do something they don't like.


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