It's always a memorable moment when you discover that the problem you thought only you were experiencing isn't so unusual after all!
One such problem is delayed ejaculation.
This is the inability to ejaculate - which basically means the inability to reach orgasm - during sexual intercourse.
Why, you might wonder, would men suffer from such a problem?
Well, there are many reasons. But perhaps the first thing to mention is that it isn't such an unusual problem. This could be your memorable moment! In short, you are definitely not alone. Why?
Because about ten percent of the male population at any one time will be experiencing this difficulty.
So if that includes you, rest assured, there is nothing abnormal about this expression of make sexuality.
But of course, helpful though it may be to know that you are not the only man who has trouble ejaculating, it is no explanation of the causes and cures of what can be a very troublesome issue.
I've come across a complete explanation of delayed ejaculation here. Whether you are looking for information on the causes of the problem, or some facts about how it can be cured, this resource could be the solution to your difficulties.
You see, the thing about delayed ejaculation is that most men who experience it find that the difficulties it produces are compounded by the fact that they themselves do not understand what is going on.
Delayed ejaculation is caused by low arousal - in short, for some reason, a man who cannot ejaculate has not been aroused sufficiently to reach his point of ejaculatory inevitability.
Usually, this is because he is guarded about intimacy and sexual connection: a part of him fears intimacy. Now, this is always due to some traumatic event in childhood or adolescence.
But, the significant thing is that a man does not have to live with the consequences of his history for ever. he can discover ways to do things differently.
Will it work for you? Obviously that remains to be seen. There are no clear answers. Sometimes men find a solution for delayed ejaculation easily; sometimes it takes a bit (or a lot) of searching.
What we can say for sure is that with effort, motivation, and an intense desire for a normal sex life, you can find ways to overcome even the most challenging ejaculation difficulties.
And then, when all is said and done, you can enjoy a normal sex life with the joys of orgasm and the power of male ejaculation. (See this for a commentary on female enjoyment of sex. It's well worth a read.)
There is no need for anyone to be in bondage to the cultural and societal views which lead us to the conclusion that men must experience certain sexual events to be fulfilled (or to feel like "real men"). I mean, of course, what we regard as ejaculation within a "normal" timescale.
Updated 23 February 2020