Sex and Love
About
premature ejaculation I dare say
you already know what premature ejaculation, or PE, is. But on the unlikely
chance you haven't ever heard of it or experienced it, I'll tell you: it's coming too soon. In other
words, it's ejaculating before both partners are satisfied with the time for
which you've been thrusting. Sorry guys, yes, it's your problem, not
hers. Though if she wants your penis in her vagina for a long time, then it's
her problem too, I guess.
As a cure for premature ejaculation, a self-help treatment, you'd be hard pressed to find a better
one than the PE
treatment offered here. However, feel free to read on for more information
about this condition.
Most women could reach orgasm through vaginal intercourse
if only their man could last long enough. So PE can be defined as
coming sooner than is necessary for both sexual partners to feel satisfied. But
since the vast majority of men ejaculate within five minutes or less of entering
their partner's vagina, this is not actually a very helpful definition. Suffice
it to say that an ejaculation is premature if a man and woman are unhappy about
him coming too soon.
The exact cause of premature ejaculation is unclear,
but there is a lot of evidence that men who come too quickly are simply very
excited and over-aroused. Their ejaculation is almost like a nervous reaction to
the added stimulation of putting their penis into her vagina. Seen as a reflex to
stimulation, then PE can be treated like any other reflex:
you learn to relax and respond differently to the stimulation.
There are several ways to do this, and they are very
effective, but they do require practice and commitment. The first step,
therefore, is to be sure that you do indeed want to deal
with your premature ejaculation. After all, it can be very satisfying to insert your
penis, thrust for a few very exciting moments and then come in a massive orgasm.
If she and you are happy with this - as you may be if she has enjoyed her orgasm
beforehand - then you don't have anything to worry about.
But if you do want to last longer, you might
like to think about why you are going to learn to last longer.
Suppose you have
no ejaculation control during sex.
The first reason to change this is your partner's sexual fulfilment and happiness. She wants you in her
vagina for much much longer than you're in there at the moment. She
likes being penetrated just as much as you like putting your penis in her, that's
for sure. And she wants a vaginal orgasm before
your premature ejaculation brings
things to a rapid halt. Second, there's your happiness. You will find sex much more rewarding
the longer it goes on for. The best sex of all is when she has a vaginal orgasm,
and then you come when her vagina begins to spasm around your penis.
Whatever method of control you decide upon, the
first step is
to learn how to recognize when you are about to ejaculate. Since premature ejaculation
is caused by your body having a quick-fire ejaculation reflex in response
to sexual stimulation, you need
to train your body to respond differently. The best way to do this (some
would say the only way) is to use the methods a sex therapist would use. Basically, you
learn how to slow down your body's response to sexual arousal, so that you can
stay below the "point of no return" for as long as you want. The
point of no return is the point at which you know you are going to ejaculate,
regardless of what happens next - and it's a point you reach too soon when you
have a PE habit. Do this as you masturbate,
until you can hover on the edge of ejaculating without actually coming.
When you have learned how to keep your arousal below the point of
no return, you
need to learn how to control PE on insertion into your partner's
vagina. You basically put your penis into her, thrust until you feel the onset of ejaculation,
then stop thrusting, lying motionless until your arousal has gone down. Over time, this
method has a high success rate in curing premature ejaculation. Eventually, you can enjoy sex for as long as you wish with no danger
whatever of coming too soon. When you choose to come, you
thrust harder and faster, taking yourself over the point of no return - and you
enjoy a massive orgasm!
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