Sex and LoveThe clitoris and female sexualityYou might know that both male and female babies start out identical, and the penis develops from the same fetal tissue as the clitoris. It is the presence of the hormone testosterone in the male baby which causes the tissue to develop into a penis. Just imagine, all the sensitivity of your penis, concentrated into something the size of a clitoris. Wow! Imagine it. Nothing to do except produce orgasms and make the woman feel good. Hardly surprising that they complain when we ignore it! And complain they do, because all the studies show the same thing: the majority of women need direct stimulation of the clitoris to have an orgasm. In Shere Hite's research on the sexual sensitivity of women, the most common complaint was that men don't take the time and trouble to find out how women best like to be aroused. Now, I'm not an expert. But you want to know more, don't you? You want to know how to find the clitoris, stimulate it, caress it, and prepare your woman for enjoyment? Small but perfectly formedThe clitoris consists purely of nervous tissue. At only 22 weeks of gestation, the clitoris has already formed in a female baby and looks just as it will when she is born. The clitoris has a cylindrical structure with three sections - hood, glans, and shaft. But the structure is not easily seen. The shaft is hidden in the flesh of the vulva. The only part easily visible is the glans with its hood at the point where the labiae minorae join together. The glans is similar in appearance to the head of the penis (although tiny) but it doesn't have an opening. From the glans, the shaft of the clitoris extends below the muscular tissue of the vulva. The shaft, covered in fibrous-elastic tissue, is the essential part of the clitoris which leads women towards orgasm. It can sometimes be stimulated simply by gently caressing the mount of Venus (mons pubis). Because it is so hidden away, the clitoris is very difficult to measure. In a newborn baby it's about 4 or 5 millimeters and by the time a woman is fully grown it averages some 16 millimeters. It's most notable characteristic is that it has no practical purpose other than pleasure. It is made up of a mass of nerve endings - 8,000 or so - which is a higher concentration than any other organ in the body, including the fingertips, lips and tongue. It is twice as sensitive as the penis.The feminine phases of sexual responseSexologists have divided women's sexual response into four phases: arousal, plateau, orgasm and resolution. These are arbitrary definitions and a woman may not necessarily be aware of her body experiencing each separate phase. The length of time she remains in each phase, and even the order of the phases is something very individual. A woman may become aroused several times during a date or encounter, without being fully aware of it and without reaching the plateau phase. She may experience arousal and also the plateau phase while out dancing, but return to her normal non-aroused state on the way home. Once at home, she might become aroused very quickly and have an orgasm without experiencing the plateau phase at all. The way in which each person experiences each phase is unique, and will also vary according to her mood, the situation and whom she is with. You can compare female sexual response with male sexual response at a site called All About The Penis.ArousalWhile a man's erection is an obvious sign of masculine arousal, in women the signs of arousal are not always obvious to men. They are:
Lubrication of the vaginal walls. Once sexual
stimulation has started (either physical, by touching the genital
area, the breasts or another erogenous zone, or mental stimulation by
way of erotic thoughts) there is an increased blood flow to the walls
of the vagina and secretion of lubricating moisture in the vagina and
vulva. The speed of lubrication varies from one woman to
another, but it usually starts between 10 and 30 seconds after
stimulation begins. This lubrication is very important as it
makes intercourse comfortable. However, men need to understand
that just because a woman is well lubricated it does not necessarily
mean she is ready for penetration.
Masters and Johnson observed that they never saw a woman experience orgasm without first seeing a dramatic color change of the labia. If a woman reaches the point of labial color change, it is likely that she will have an orgasm. If you look at the list above of physical changes in the aroused woman, you will see that she is not ready for penetration until all of those things have occurred, well into the plateau phase. Vaginal lubrication alone does not signify that she's ready. Women need long sessions of foreplay to become fully aroused, and sexual intercourse will then be much more exciting and pleasurable for both the man and the woman. OrgasmDuring her orgasm phase a woman may experience the following:
Masters and Johnson tell us: Women often describe the sensations of orgasm as starting with a momentary feeling of being 'on the edge' or 'in mid-air', followed rapidly by intensely pleasurable sensations which start in the clitoris and radiate out through the pelvis. The physical sensations in the genitals are often described as 'hot' or 'electric' and radiating out to the whole body. The majority of women experience muscular contraction in the vagina or lower pelvis, often described as 'pelvic palpitations'. Resolution
During the phase of
resolution a woman may experience the following:
If you are in a relationships with a woman who has trouble reaching orgasm, this website may be helpful. It explains all about female anorgasmia, lack of orgasm during sex, and what women can do to reach orgasm during intercourse. The lack of orgasm can be changed fairly easily with self-help programs. For men who have similar issues - which may seem surprising, since we tend to think of the inability to reach orgasm as a female problem - the condition is called male orgasmic disorder or, more properly, delayed ejaculation. This replaces the more derogatory name of retarded ejaculation, but the condition still affects about one man in twelve and is incredibly frustrating and disruptive to the sexual pleasure and relationship harmony of a couple where sex becomes a painful long-lasting chore than results in soreness for the woman and lack of an orgasm for the man. There are effective self help programs which can solve the problem in a short space of time. |
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